depression

I have spent a very long time in a state of depression. Now that I am clearly out of it. I know when I went to my doctor and she prescribed Lithium. I jumped at the thought of something making me feel better.  I was not sure it would work; since this was my first real encounter with depression.  Mania had always plagued me and in general mania always felt really really good.  Well; until it became a full blown manic episode. Manic Episodes only feel out of control and terrifying. Now that I have truly suffered with depression.  I know it is not some made up excuse to not do things.  It is a dark cloud hanging over your head and more...it is as if the dark cloud doesn't lift and I felt as if it would never go away and that this feeling of sadness was going to be my constant companion but never a friend.  I would see other people around me laughing and talking and enjoying each others company and I felt as if they were in a world I could never become a part of again.  Eating became a chore.  I had no desire for food.  I forced myself to eat a few bitefuls for survival.  I had no appetite.  The only one thing that made me feel good about myself is that I was losing weight.  Even that was unhealthy.  But, praise God the Lithium did work and now I am out of the depression and perhaps if not any thing I do truly understand depression and when I finally went to see my doctor and said; I know suicide is wrong but this pain feels so intense that I can only see death to be the one thing that will bring me out of it.  After all I was already on Seraquel and Lamictal.  Could there be another drug added to the mix?  I had taken Lithium in the past but it was always in response to a Manic Episode.  So if you are reading this and a friend or someone you care about or love intensely; consider Lithium if they are not already taking it.  Even back in my past when I was seeking Homeopathic medicine for Bipolar Disorder.  This Naturopath said high doses of Magnesium is helpful but Lithium is really the drug of choice.  If you are bipolar and reading this... and are depressed.  Hang in there....talk to a friend or even if you don't feel like talking go for a walk.  This will increase your endorphins.  See your doctor and trust me THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.