seclusion

Well, I was put into a cell with no one in it.  Alone...the very worst and very best thing you can do for a person in a state of mania is to completely have them spend time alone and don't allow them to interact with anyone.  They are stuck with all their thoughts and energy.  Well here I was spinning my own wheels with no one to interact with.  The cell was concrete with a toilet and sink in one corner.  There was a concrete shelf to sit upon or sleep.  Sleep in the state of mania is impossible...it isn't even a choice...a person simply can not sleep...It is not their fault.  One thing I remember is it was freezing cold and I could not do anything to get warm...the clothes I wore were issued to me; navy blue pants and short sleeve v-neck shirt.  God am I glad I am not there any longer.  I arrived there around 8 pm and endured the entire night.  The door was solid with a window where the police officers could come periodically and look in and check on me.  I lived for a face to appear in the window.  A chance to interact with humanity.  Sometimes the officer would talk with me and sometimes they would ignore me.  One officer said why do you want to be in control of everything?  This was true of me during that time and I still refer to that statement and decide to let God be God.....I say being in seclusion is the very worst thing for a person in mania because I hated it and just was pacing around with no where to go...Seclusion is the best thing for me because there is virtually no way to get one self into trouble.  I did surrender in that cell....I got on my knees and prayed to God...I will take my meds from now on a promise to God...the only way I would stop taking meds is if Jesus came down and touched me and healed me...but then in addition to this all the doctors and pharmacies will have to disappear.  So another words...I am committed to taking my meds for life.  So glad I started taking my meds since then...they definitely have got me through difficult times.  I am just now recovering from a depression...I am on a new med...Lithium...I have been on this drug in the past but not recently.  I have been gradually increasing my Lithium in the past 3 weeks..at this point I  pity folks who don't believe in medicine.  I was that person..now I know taking medicine and being under the care of a physician are the things that have saved my life.